Discussing Waterlily, Marriage, and Dakota Life
Discussing Waterlily, Marriage, and Dakota Life
In modern Euro-American culture, if a man were to simply mention the idea of buying a wife he would face certain ridicule and would be considered sexist. Wife buying is not a ‘pc’ option in today’s society as it stands in direct opposition to the mainstream idea of women’s liberation and independence. That is not to say that it doesn’t happen (remember the show “Who wants marry a Millionaire?”) it is just to say that it is not overtly accepted. Waterlily, by Ella Cara Deloria, details the religious and cultural rituals of a Dakota woman in the nineteenth century. In the novel the protagonist, Waterlily, faces the prospect of being ‘purchased’ for marriage. If one applies the mainstream world-view to this situation, it suggests that the Dakota culture may have been oppressive to women. However, although often forgotten, the mainstream Euro-American world-view is not the only one that exists.
“The ultimate aim of Dakota life, stripped of accessories, was quite simple; one must obey kinship rules; one must be a good relative. No Dakota who has participated in that life will dispute that. In the last analysis every other consideration was secondary – property, personal ambition, glory, good times, life itself. Without that aim and the constant struggle to attain it, the people would no longer be Dakotas in truth. They would no longer even be human. To be a good Dakota, then was to be humanized, civilized. And to be civilized was to keep the rules imposed by kinship for achieving civility, good manners, and a sense of responsibility toward every individual dealt with. Thus only was it possible to live communally with success; that is to say, with a minimum of friction and a maximum of good will” (Deloria, Waterlily x)
In the case of Waterlily’s marriage, of which she agreed to be purchased, the Dakota world-view sees her decision as very honorable. Her choice demonstrated that “her people had taught her the most important of lessons, the one regarding her duties toward her relatives.” (Waterlily 163)
In order for the mainstream to understand how her decision can be considered honorable, it is necessary to better understand the role of the woman in Dakota life. As shown by Deloria’s female characters, the way a Dakota woman achieves honor...