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Gay Marriage

Uploaded by alfaholic on Feb 11, 2007

Gay Marriage

One of the lesser topics making waves in society is that of gay marriage. I call it a lesser topic because, while gay marriage is an important issue, it simply does not hold a candle to war. War is perhaps the most meaningful outlet for the full spectrum of human expression, and we should make it our primary focus always. Way down the list of important topics, right after healthcare and global warming, is gay marriage. As a straight man belonging to the coveted 18-25-year-old male demographic, I consider myself uniquely qualified to comment on this issue that has nothing to do with me whatsoever.

With upwards of hundreds of gay people living in the United States, gay marriage has become somewhat of an epidemic, however unless gay people are also magical, it looks like homosexual marriage is destined to remain as illegal as crime, which is a pretty bad thing I'm told. And, if gay people are indeed magical, it might be necessary for another series of witch trials for the safety of everyone. This all might seem unfair, but we do live in an unfair society. If you think gay rights are limited, just look at what the terrorists have to put up with. Their rights are virtually nonexistent, and with such hatred directed towards them it's no wonder they want to blow us up.

The age-old reasoning as to why gay marriage is a crime against nature is that the Bible says homosexuality is a sin, not unlike beating the Pope to death with a baseball bat. Somewhere in the Bible, sandwiched in-between the all-encompassing madness is a line that says it is unconstitutional for a man to marry another man. This is reinforced by the story of Noah's ark. Noah managed to fit two of every animal into a huge ark and navigate around a flooded earth, evading storms and sea creatures. When the waters subsided, the earth was repopulated with the animals he sheltered. Had he not picked both a male and female of every one of the millions of animal and insect species he saved, there would have been no reproduction. Thanks to this we are living in a healthy and densely populated world. No thanks to you, gay culture!

Times have changed and the world is no longer recovering from a flood. People are plentiful and thusly homosexuality is a viable alternative for those seeking...

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Uploaded by:   alfaholic

Date:   02/11/2007

Category:   Speeches

Length:   4 pages (881 words)

Views:   22483

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