Studying Differences In Male and Female Communication
Studying Differences In Male and Female Communication
People have different conversational styles that are influenced by their parents, age, class, and gender. Usually we are unaware that these and other aspects of our backgrounds influence our ways of talking. Since we don’t realize that others’ styles are different, we miscommmunicate with each other causing problems and conflicts in conversation. Conflicts are influenced by our gender and experienced everyday in the workplace, public, and private settings.
Men and women both have many different conversational rituals. The common rituals among men often involve “using oppositions such as banter, joking, teasing, and playful put-downs.” (Tannen 23) They sometime come across as hostile and arrogant when they aren’t trying to be. The conversational rituals common among women are often ways of “maintaining an appearance of equality, taking into account the effort of the exchange on the other person, expending effort to downplay the speakers’ authority so they can get the job done without flexing their muscles in an obvious way.” (Tannen 23) Women use conversational strategies to avoid appearing conceited and take another persons feelings into account. They may seem less confident and competent that they really are. Both men and women feel often that they aren’t getting enough credit for what they have done, not being listen to, and aren’t getting ahead as fast as they should.
Every individual has his or her own style. “Women are more likely to downplay
Their certainty and learned as they were growing up that sounding too sure of themselves will make them unpopular. (Tannen 36) These reactions taught girls how they are expected to talk in order to be liked. “Women usually balance their own interests with those of the person they are talking to, they usually take into account the other persons feelings.” (Tannen 38) This is also similar to how girls show leadership and being a leader usually involves giving directions to others. “Many girls discover they get better results if they phrase their ideas as suggestions rather then orders.”(Tannen 39) While women may be more liked this makes them less capable and self-assured for the workplace.
“Men are more likely to play down their doubts” but are expected to play by different rules. (Tannen 36) Boys usually don’t criticize each other for being confident with himself or taking charge because “high-status boys” are expected to give orders to the “low-status boys” who are around....