Gareth Burnett on Human Interaction and Development Theory
Uploaded by gaz on May 13, 2007
Love does not exist. It's official. This “love” I am referring to is, by definition between the two people of the opposite sex. Disregarding any parent-child bond which is entirely a different matter and is indeed actually just a case of admiration, neutral respect, response from a object and physical need which was demonstrated by Harlow and Harlow and Conrad Lorenz.
Imagine this. An attractive girl (or boy) depending on your gender has just walked past. Of course apparently beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but everyone finds something beautiful and this person catches your eye, and just imagine, they catch yours back. You get talking and start to date. Now I imagine that according to “true love” this is the person you keep thinking about. The one person who you are upset about when you are apart. The $100m question is why. Is it because they're nice to talk to, funny, smart, entertaining or any other factor other then their looks AND gender? Of course it isn't or we'd all be upset when all our friends left the room. As with the maternal deprivation hypothesis (Bowlby 1969) innate programming also exists for physical attractiveness. From the moment your born the ideal partner is in your head but no one, not even yourself knows who it is. It could be the shape of them, the eye colour or hair colour but it is programmed into you. Try it. Think of all the people you've ever found attractive and think what do the majority of them have in common. As Darwin dared to suggest with evolution and survival of the fittest, the evidence for this is all in front of us. Record number of marriages split up, cheats and divorces. And why? Because the other partner was not physically attractive enough. There is no “love” just a shared lust for each person based on the natural desires that do not change with age. I stop short of a critical period for this “love” to happen in but suggest it is still there as people age they change in looks so the “relationship” ends. A look-a-like “replacement” is found. People can't help cheating on someone else, its the natural instinct. Of course morals in this world would make the ego regret it but they cant help someone who finds another more attractive.
Age is also a preprogrammed factor but...